The Golfer's Wife

Big G vs little g. #3

Golfing Offspring #2 went to the introductory meeting for her school golf team today. She still hasn't made up her mind about joining the team. And here's the thing. The Golfer really doesn't care if she joins or not. It's totally up to her. You may find this strange, considering how much golf is a part of life here in The Household. But it's not really. Because of Big Difference number two between Golfers and golfers. Golfers know that it's just a game. And because it's just a game, if it isn't fun, and you aren't enjoying yourself, than there is no point in doing it. GO2 enjoys playing golf. If joining the team will change that, then don't join the team.

You will never see a Golfer throw his clubs. Kick over their bag. Pound the cart. Or turn more and more surly as the round goes on. It's just a game. If you get that upset playing it, then it's not fun, and you should find something else to do.

If you are playing a round with a Golfer, they will never correct your swing, or give you advice, unless you ask for it. It's a game. Constantly correcting, and telling someone what to do, takes all the fun out of it. For both of you. And remember Big Difference number one? If you don't count your whiffs, take 5 mulligans, and kick an out of bounds ball back in bounds, it doesn't effect The Golfer's score at all. If you are having a good time, and The Golfer is having a good time, he won't call you on any of it. He will definitely NOTICE, but he won't call you on it. It's just a game.

This doesn't mean The Golfer doesn't care. It may be a game, but all games have rules. And whether or not you play by the rules says a lot about you. This is why so many deals get done at the golf course. If you are a CEO who is considering doing business with another CEO, you take him golfing. If the other CEO is rude to the people in the pro shop, takes mulligans on several holes, doesn't count a whiff he thinks you  didn't see, counts a 5 when you know he had a 6, and throws his pitching wedge in the lake after he hits a bad shot, would you really want to do business with him? It's just a game. If you have that kind of attitude, and will cheat, when it's just a game, what will you do when it's business for real money? Business people think the reason to play golf is to be able to spend 5 hours chatting up the boss. But the boss doesn't need to talk to you. They just need to see how you play the game. You can learn all you need to know about a persons character by playing just one round of golf with them.

If you don't count whiffs, and take mulligans, and aren't real careful about your score on each hole, but you also don't use the score toward your handicap( maybe you aren't even in the GHIN and don't even care about a handicap ), and it's obvious the real reason you are out there is to have fun and keep The Golfer company while he plays his round, then The Golfer won't care, and he will play with you again under the same conditions. Because it's a game and it should be fun. But if you use your score towards your handicap, and it's obvious you consider those normal playing conditions, The Golfer won't say anything. But he will find excuses to never play with you again. Because games have rules.

So whether GO2, or GO3 coming up behind her, joins the golf team is totally up to them. Just as it was for GO1 before them. Would The Golfer like her to join? Yes. Would he like to have one of The Offspring take the game seriously enough that they would be willing to join him on The Frozen Tundra? Absolutely. But it's much more important to him that they enjoy playing The Game their whole lives long.

Big G vs little g. #2

A golfer knows who these people are:

Tiger Woods
Phil Mickelson
Jack Nicklaus
Annika Sorenstam
Michelle Wie
Pete Dye

A Golfer knows who these people are:

Alister McKenzie
Donald Ross
Kathy Whitworth
Tim Finchem
The Tom Morrises, Old and Young
Mac O'Grady
Orville Moody

Big G vs little g. #1

Golfer vs golfer. Big Difference number one. A Golfer knows the only person you are playing against is yourself. The point of the game is to hit the ball into the holes in as few strokes as possible. That doesn't change if you are out there all by yourself, or you are playing in a foursome of your best friends. The way you determine improvement is your score in this round as compared to your previous rounds. Not in comparison to how well your friend, or anyone else played. It is your scores, and only your scores, that determine your handicap. You can beat your friend Fred every time, but if you are not steadily lowering your score then, as far as a Golfer is concerned, what's the point? A Golfer will come home after a round with shinning eyes, very excited, because he finally got a birdie on that damned par 4, and scored his second best round of the year. Even though he lost $100 betting on the round with his friends. He will also come home looking down cast if he scored his second worst round of the year, even if he won $500 betting on the round with his friends. The success of the round is judged by his score against himself. He may have a regular foursome he plays with each week. If for some reason he can't make the regular time, or the foursome decides not to play some week, a golfer will just not play. Because the big reason to play golf is to hang with your friends for a few hours, doing something you all like to do. The Golfer will find a time to play anyway. Because it's great to play with your friends. but that's not the point. The point is to do better this time than you did last time. And you don't need your friends around for that. Have you ever seen a bag of clubs gathering dust in someone's garage, and heard them say 'Yeah, I used to play. Had a great regular group of guys. But then Fred moved, and George messed up his back. And we just couldn't find anyone to replace them, so I pretty much stopped playing. I should give those things away.'? That was a golfer talking. You would never hear that from a Golfer. They play the game for it's own sake, and they play only against themselves. If they happen to hook up with a great group of guys who will put up with ( or even share in ) their cigar smoking, and help them maintain regular contact with the beer cart, well then, that's just icing on the cake.

Golfer vs golfer

There is a difference between a Golfer and a golfer. Actually there are many differences, some big, some small. Being a golfer is not a bad thing. I may live with a Golfer, but I myself am a golfer. I have managed, over 'lo these many years, to recognize the traits that differentiate the Golfer from the golfer. I have even managed to pick up a few of the important ones myself. As time goes on however, it has become increasingly clear that I will never pick up all the traits needed to become a Golfer. I just don't have it in me. Which is a nice way of saying I think many of them are silly, pointless, and quite frankly, down right annoying. However. There are those of you out there who aspire to become not just a golfer, but a Golfer. So on a regular basis I will be revealing to you those traits that separate one from the other. You can decide for yourself which ones you think are worth your time, and which ones are silly/pointless/down right annoying. And if it's really worth the effort involved to move from a small g to a large G.