The Golfer had a tee time at 10am on Friday. But he didn’t get to play. There was at least an inch of snow on the ground when we got up, and it was still snowing. You would think that would mean he had 5 extra hours to get things done. But if that’s what you think then you obviously don’t live with a Golfer. The way Golfers figure it, they planned their day NOT accomplishing anything during those 5 hours except birdies and pars, so if they don’t accomplish anything else they really aren’t any the worse off. Which means The Golfer watched some football, and some basketball, and got caught up on all his blogs, and just generally ‘chilled’.
If you happen to live in a part of the country where snow puts an end to your golf for awhile, perhaps you use this time more constructively than The Golfer, and spend it increasing your knowledge of the game through books, magazines and movies. Or perhaps you live with A Golfer and are interested in books and movies that will help you understand them better. There is a list of recommended books in the left hand side bar, that would be a good place to start. As for movies…… there have been a fair number of golf movies made over the years, but if you want to fit in with Golfers there are 3 you have to watch. I’m not saying you have to like them. I’m not even saying they are necessarily good movies. I’m just saying that every Golfer has seen them. More than once. And they Liked them. And they can quote them. And if you want to understand your Golfer you need to watch them and be able to recognize the references.
The link for each movie is the IMDb entry, which, down under ‘Fun Stuff’, contains a link to famous quotes from the movie. Read them. Memorize them. If you can slip any of them into casual conversation with your Golfer you will go a long ways towards cementing your position as best spouse/significant other ever, and there is no telling what may come your way on the next gift giving occasion.
In the #3 spot: Happy Gilmore. Adam Sandler plays a wanna be hockey player who really doesn’t have what it takes. His grandmother is evicted from her house for failing to pay her taxes. While loading up his grandmothers stuff the moving guys find some golf clubs and challenge Happy to drive the ball farther than they can. Which of course he does. At which point he decides that if he hustles a bit on golf courses ( and by hustles I mean bets guys he can hit farther than they can, not ‘works his butt off to become a great golfer’ ) he could make enough money to pay his grandmothers back taxes. Things move on from there in typical Adam Sandler style. I admit Adam Sandler is an acquired taste ( which is mostly acquired by teenagers and frat boys ) but remember I said you don’t have to like it, you just have to watch it.
In the #2 spot: Tin Cup. Kevin Costner plays Roy McAvoy, a washed up pro who is the instructor at a driving range in a small West Texas town and is living out of an RV. He gets a pretty psychiatrist as a student, who, as it turns out, is the girl friend of his old college golf partner, who is now a PGA superstar. Roy, of course, falls for his new student and things move on from there, with Roy eventually competing in the U.S. Open against his former partner. It is a fairly predictable story, but it’s actually a pretty good movie. I’m not sure Golfers like it so much as totally identify with it. They can all relate to Roy, and are sure that, given half a chance and a beautiful woman for motivation, they could make it to the U.S. Open. And they all have dreams about teaching said beautiful woman how to swing a golf club. Dreams where the teaching method would get them fired from any golf course, and probably arrested. But they can dream.
And in the #1 spot, by a loooooooonnnnng way: Caddy Shack. The story of Danny Noonan, Ty Webb, Judge Smails, Lacey Underall, and Bushwood Country Club. Not only do you have to watch this, you have to memorize it. EVERY LINE. Not just the famous quotes. EVERY SINGLE LINE. This movie is now a permanent part of golf culture and has wormed it’s way into the brain of every golfer out there, even me. If you can’t recognize the reference and use ‘Be the ball’, ‘So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice’, and ‘nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh’ correctly, then you will never understand golf, or your Golfer. They may not admit to ever having watched Caddy Shack, but believe me they have. Maybe in secret, when no one else was in the house, but they’ve watched it. They may not even have liked it, but they know that if they want to be welcome in the foursome, they had better know every line. Because the references will be made, and they better recognize them. And they will be required to make one or two of their own. If they go a whole round without saying “It’s In The Hole’ the other players will wonder about them.
As for what I personally think of these movies: I can handle Happy Gilmore if everyone else wants to watch it, but it will never be my choice. I like Tin Cup, but it’s one of those things you can only watch about once a year. As for Caddy Shack, well, I hope you won’t think any less of me, but I love it. And it gets watched a lot in The Household. Mostly because The Offspring request it ( yes it’s rated R, I never claimed to be any better mother than I am a golfer ), but I always watch.
So there you have it. 3 movies that will vastly increase your supply of golf quotes, if not your actual understanding of the game.
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