With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy. Again.
If you collect golf shirts from all the courses you have played, and they are hanging in your closet sorted by color….you might just be A Golfer.
If you have all the golf courses within a 100 mile radius on your cell phone speed dial….you might just be A Golfer.
If your Offspring can quote every word ever uttered by Judge Smails, Spalding, Ty Webb, and Carl Spackler……you might just be A Golfer.
If your garage contains a specific spot for your golf bag, but it is always empty, because the golf bag ( and shoes ) are always in your car, because, seriously, you never know when or where you are going to want to play a round……you might just be A Golfer.
If you have lost so many club head covers that your Offspring now buy them in bulk and don’t even bother to wrap them anymore when they give them to you for your birthday/X-mas…..you might just be A Golfer.
If you have ever been asked ‘Have you ever been to The Holy Land?’ and replied ‘Scotland? Why yes I have.’ ( especially when you have actually been to Israel several times )…… you might just be A Golfer.
If the weather report for your Saturday morning tee time is 35 degrees with winds coming out of the west at 35 miles per hour with occasional gusts up to 40, and instead of calling to cancel you make a mental note to remember a hat and gloves and to go up a club, maybe two if you’re hitting out of the rough……you might just be A Golfer.
If the members of your Household can watch a golf tournament and recognize Fanny, Fluff, and Stevie, and actually refer to them as Fanny, Fluff, and Stevie… you might just be A Golfer.
If your Offspring are surprised to see you, and ask if you are sick, if you are there for breakfast on a Saturday morning, and suspect that there might be some family problems they aren’t being told about if you are there for breakfast on both Saturday AND Sunday…….you might just be A Golfer.
And last, but certainly not least:
If you have a wife who actually blogs about all of this..….. you ARE A Golfer.
Comments