This weekend the weather here in the Wild West has been absolutely gorgeous. Clear blue skies and temperatures in the high 70’s. And some of the trees have turned and some have not. The tall grasses have turned brown on the top, but are still green on the bottom. Absolutely spectacular fall color and weather. Perfect for playing golf. And yet here’s the thing, The Golfer didn’t play a round this weekend.
No, I’m not kidding. He really didn’t. He didn’t even go hit balls. He went the whole weekend without picking up a club. I know, weird hunh? He mumbled something about a sore back and needing to get some things done for work. But I don’t buy it. This is the same Golfer who will take his family out in a monsoon, and thinks nothing of playing the frozen tundra. He has never let a little thing like back problems or work keep him from the greens before.
So I have been watching him. Because I figure the only explanation is aliens have taken over his body. You know, like in Invasion of The Body Snatchers? Where these pods start showing up and people think they are just weird plants? And then they go to sleep and the pods take them over and produce a body that looks just like them, but every one they know thinks they just aren’t quite right? This is what I think must have happened. It looks like The Golfer, and it sounds like The Golfer, but it can’t possibly be The Golfer, because The Golfer would’ve played a round both days this weekend. And probably 2 on Saturday.
There haven’t been any flashing lights or strange noises here at The Household lately, which means no aliens came in a ship and took him away and left a non-Golfer replica. So I am sticking with my pod theory, although I haven’t seen any around. The Golfer did spend an hour or so cleaning up the garden, and there are some pretty big orange poddy looking things out there. But I’m pretty sure they’re just pumpkins. Fairly sure. Maybe I should send one of the Offspring out to check….
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