The Golfer's Wife

THE Open - 2009

This weekend is The Open.  Here is what I had to say about it last year. Which pretty much covers it.

This year it is being played at Turnberry. The Golfer has rather strong feelings about Turnberry.

" Last year, I wrote a little blurb about The Open, and I mentioned the pilgrimage we made to Scotland.  One of the courses we played, Turnberry, is the site of this years Open.   We played 10 courses while we were there, and surprisingly enough, it was my favorite.  I say surprisingly, because it held bad memories for me.

Turnberry is where Tom Watson beat Jack Nickalaus in 1977.   It was also the first Open I watched in full.  Previously, it was something of a curiosity that got in the way of the Saturday morning comics.

But this was a battle.  My parents were fully into watching Jack win.  And after Tom beat Jack in the Masters everyone was looking for revenge.  I was riveted.  And Jack lost.  So any reference to Turnberry hurt, and I wasn’t looking too forward to playing it.

That had changed by the 5th hole.  Of course, it didn’t hurt that it was the only course we played that we managed to get down to the short sleeve shirts (for about 4 holes, in July no less).  It also didn’t hurt that I beat The Brother.

It is a beautiful course, a great test of golf. Maybe not for the big boys, Nick Price said it’s a great par 67.  But for the rest of us, it’s a great place to golf.

So, I’ll be watching this weekend.  Knowing I played each hole (yes from the tips).  They made some changes to toughen it up, I’ll be curious to see how it holds up. "

The fact that it will be tivo’d and we will watch every minute goes without saying.

So long Joe. Hope to see you soon.

As has been noted here before we are big sports fans here in The Household. And in spite of where we live 2nd place, after golf, does not belong to the orange and blue. Since 1995 the boys on the ice have been firmly entrenched at that second spot. This past week was bitter sweet for us Avs fans. Joe Sakic officially retired. We knew it was coming, but it is still hard to say goodbye. Joe says he will be working on his golf game. Which makes perfect sense, because if ever there was A Golfer in another sport it is Joe Sakic.

For those of you not familiar with hockey, and not familiar with Joe, here are two articles by Woody Paige that pretty much sum things up.

It is being said that after taking a couple of years off Joe would like to join the Avalanche organization in some management/coaching capacity. I certainly hope so. Having Gentleman Joe being part of any organization would raise the character of said organization by about 100 notches.

I know this is a golf blog but I hope you’ll forgive this brief interlude while we say Good Bye Joe. And thanks for everything.

Jigger says.....Get a Golfer

[ Jigger has been rather busy lately. Brassie is a full time job. He has lost 3 pounds since she joined The Household, and he was certainly not overweight to begin with. He has been paying attention to golf. You can’t avoid paying attention to golf in this house. He has just been to busy playing with Brassie to feel like rant…uh, voicing his opinion. But you had to know that wouldn’t last forever. Perhaps because his new BFF is a girl, he has been paying more attention to woman’s golf lately. And he has a definite opinion on the recent turmoil surrounding Carolyn Bivens. Although actually the turmoil isn’t all that recent. People have been unhappy with her for quite awhile. But the situation has finally reached the breaking point. ]

So The Brand Lady is out. About time. If the woman had lost any more tournaments the tour would have disappeared. But now you gotta replace her. Who you gonna get? Well first and foremost, get a golfer. That was Bivens problem. Well, that and an apparent total lack of people skills. But look, as the owner of this blog ( who, by the way, totally forgot the biscuits this morning. She handed out some cheese, like that could substitute. Cheese or no cheese there better be biscuits tomorrow or I might just suggest to Brassie that a certain pair of shoes probably tastes really good. Just sayin’. Anyway. ) has repeatedly noted golf is nothing if not TRADITION. A golfer would know that. The Brand Lady didn’t.

When you got long time tournaments with long time sponsors you don’t go changing the rules on them. You don’t go telling them that now it’s going to cost them 3 times as much for tournament rights as it did before, especially when the economy is tanking around you. And then to top it all off, threaten to take them to court if they can’t afford it. Isn’t there some book out there about winning friends and influencing people? Never had any trouble with that myself, a wag of the tail seems to do it. But someone may want to get The Brand Lady a copy.

Way more than PGA tournaments, LPGA tournaments are community affairs. Held in the same towns, sponsored by those towns biggest employers. The same towns people volunteering at the tournament year after year.  Tradition. That’s what kept the LPGA alive. Make those people mad and not only have you lost the tournament, you’ve lost a legion of long time fans. And that’s gonna hurt you a long time.

I know, I know, that’s not the way to make money and keep the tour going long term. Changes had to be made. And The Brand Lady did manage a nice TV deal. But she talked about revenue and player pensions, and then lost tournaments right and left, which sorta undercuts the main purpose the players are on the tour, to Play. What good is a pension if there are no tournaments to play in to earn money towards that pension?

Listen, I may be of a different species but I know a good lookin’ female when I see one. Instead of pissing off sponsors why wasn’t she out marketing Natalie Gulbis and Paula Creamer and Morgan Pressell? Every tournament has a pro-am, and most US Companies have an abundance of  male executives. Why the heck wasn’t she offering a cut rate deal on tour sponsorship this year, with options for renewal when the economy was better? You can’t tell me those execs would have passed up a chance to play with those lovely ladies. For someone hired for her marketing expertise she sure doesn’t know how to make use of what she’s got.

So this time around, get a golfer. Someone who understands golf, and the tour, and tradition, and can deal with people without pissing them off. Someone for whom the LPGA as an organization means something more than a chance to demonstrate their business skills. Which she seemed to lack anyway.

Look, I…..ooooo, wait a minute. Squirrel on the fence at 2:00 and Brassie is busy with the neighborhood kids by the fence at the other end of the yard. Gotta go. Hate those damn squirrels………

 [Standard disclaimer: The opinions of this particular poster are his and his alone, and do not necessarily reflect those of the owner of this blog. Also, may I just point out it was a very good sharp cheddar and I thought they would enjoy a change of pace from the biscuits. Apparently golfers aren’t the only ones who hang on tradition. ]

I am offended

As mentioned previously, with the Goolie Emergency, I have a day-by-day calendar which provides me with various golf trivia and helpful hints. Here is yesterday’s page:

You may find this mildly helpful. I find it mildly offensive.

It is July 7th. We are more than halfway through the year. The calendar has been just full of helpful advice. How to survive a bird attack. How to stop a fire you started when your cigar ash fell in dry rough. What to do if you run into a rabid animal on the course. How to treat a sprained ankle, and how to get a fellow player who has said sprained ankle back to the clubhouse if you were walking. How to start a stalled golf cart. Even what to do if you are on the course and a tornado is headed your way.

In all of these cases you and your fellow player/s are mentioned and in all of these cases the fellow players were referred to with ‘he’ and ‘his’.

Do you see the issue now?

If you are in a ‘situation’ on a golf course where, with a little helpful advice, you and your fellow players can get yourself out of a jam, the assumption is the players are all male.

But when it comes to cheating, all of a sudden your fellow player is referred to with ‘she’ and ‘her’.

To be fair, 80% ( maybe more ) of all golfers out there are male. And I certainly can’t have a Goolie Emergency. So I didn’t really mind that up until now the calendar has been very male centric. But why the sudden shift in genders when it comes to cheating? Cheaters come in both sexes, but statistically speaking there are far more male cheaters than female cheaters in the game of golf. So why not just continue with the overall male bias of the entries? Why is the cheater all of the sudden female? Hmmmm?

Somewhere there is a male who edited this calendar and let this go by without a second thought. He is lucky I don’t know who he is, or he might find himself having a little Goolie Emergency of his own.

Brassie's Stash

Brassie has been a member of The Household for a few months now. She is just over 6 months old and a few things have become apparent. The most obvious being that the + in her Red Heeler + parentage is most likely Chihuahua. She has an under bite, big ears, and is not getting nearly as big as everyone thought she would. But she is very strong and large boned for her size and her coloring is straight Red Heeler. She has more energy than the Energizer Bunny and is ALWAYS happy. But she’s not very smart. The Golfer says she is the 16 year old blonde cheer leader of dogs.

She didn’t get any of the smarts of a Red Heeler, but she does have some of their other traits. If she wants you to do something she bites at your heels. She is constantly trying to herd people this way or that. And apparently Red Heelers like to have a lot of toys, and they like to keep them in one place. This is the complete opposite of Jigger. Jigger tends to get attached to one toy at a time. And even then he will leave it out in the yard, or stuck under a piece of furniture, and it doesn’t seem to bother him at all. He is not into stuff.

Brassie is very into stuff. Brassie feels the more stuff you have the better. And you need to keep track of your stuff. She is not possessive. She doesn’t mind if Jigger takes one of her toys for some reason. She just makes sure it gets back to where it belongs when he’s done. Jiggers stuff ( specifically his reindeer, which was the current favorite toy when Brassie arrived ) quickly became Brassies stuff.  Brassie has been busy accumulating stuff since she joined The Household.

Here is a current picture of Brassie’s Stash, as we have come to call it. 

The contents of the Stash are constantly changing. Brassie doesn’t feel the need to take care of her stuff. She chews things and drags them around and if they fall apart and end up in the trash, she just goes and finds more stuff. She is VERY good at finding stuff. And yes, some of that stuff includes sticks and other ‘organic matter’ that she digs up out of the yard. Some of which I’m sure is probably poisonous and I’m very surprised we haven’t had to make a trip to the emergency vet with her yet.

And of course her stuff includes golf balls. Brassie LOVES golf balls. They roll and they bounce and they are fun to chew on. Remember here, where I explained about the status of golf balls in The Household? Well they have found their wanderings severely curtailed since Brassie showed up. Brassie believes golf balls need to be herded and they all need to stay together. In her Stash. Every time one makes a break for it she brings it back. After first bouncing it awhile on the hardwood floor, and then chewing on it, just to make sure it still tastes the same.

And yes that is a Golf Digest. Normally Brassie happily shreds any newspaper, magazine or book that happens to fall on the floor. But for some reason this particular issue of Golf Digest was deemed worthy of belonging in the Stash. I’m thinking it is because Cammmmmmilo is on the cover. She would rather look at him then chew his head off.

Another up and comer

The Golfer and I both had the day off today, due to tomorrow being July 4th. 

Guess what we did?

Played golf. 

Okay, kinda anti-climatic and obvious, I know.

Anyway.  We played with Ethan and his dad. Ethan just turned 14. He has braces, and he recently got a haircut so he has a line of white skin where it’s not tan, and he has bug bites on his legs. He doesn’t wear golf shoes and he is at that stage where his sneakers look like air craft carriers. Since he just turned 14 he probably won’t appreciate me saying this, but the kid is darn cute.

Ethan plays from the gold tees. Which on our course is the way back tees. Where The Golfer plays from. Ethan is very good. He got wet twice, or he would have beaten The Golfer. The Golfer was very impressed with the smoothness of Ethan’s swing. I was impressed with how laid back Ethan is. And Ethan’s dad was the complete opposite of Not Earl Woods. He never once commented on Ethan’s swing. In fact a couple of times he took advice from Ethan on his swing.

Ethan will be playing in the upcoming World Junior Golf Championships. We here at TGW wish him luck.

I keep telling you people, keep an eye on the kids. They’re good.

You can get one of those?

So you’ve heard of birdies, and bogeys, and eagles. And holes-in-one. But I learned a new one today. The BMW Open was played this weekend in Munich. The 18th hole was a par 5. An Argentine name Rafa Echenique did something that is very rare. He scored a 2. He hit his drive. Then holed out his second shot from 243 yards out. And it turns out there is a name for getting a 2 on a par 5. It’s called an Albatross.

It’s good to get a birdie. It’s even better to get an eagle. But how seriously cool is it to get an Albatross?

Person sitting next to you at the 19th hole:  You ever get a hole-in one?
You: No. But I’ve had an Albatross.
Person sitting next to you at the 19th hole( thinking the next line will be a punch line ): A what?
You ( completely serious ): An Albatross.
Person sitting next to you at the 19th hole ( still suspecting there is a joke involved somewhere ): How do you get one of those?
You: You cut the dog leg on number 15 and land just past the second fairway bunker, then hole out your second shot.
Person sitting next to you at the 19th hole:  Wow. That’s seriously cool.
You: Yeah

So there you go. It is possible to get an Albatross. Well. It is perhaps possible for YOU to get an Albatross. I have a better chance of lucking into a hole-in-one then I do of getting an Albatross. But a person can dream.

Young Ladies

The Wegman’s LPGA Tournament is being played in Rochester New York this weekend. And just to prove that they don’t play favorites, the Golfing Gods arranged for the second round to get rained out today. Last weekend Bethpage, this weekend Rochester. New York must have done something to really piss off the GG’s.

Player of note in the Wegman’s tournament is Cheyenne Woods. Cheyenne is an 18 year old student at Wake Forest. She also happens to be an outstanding golfer. Oh, and she has a famous uncle. You’ve probably heard of him. Cheyenne is playing as an amateur in her first LPGA tournament on a sponsors exemption. Here are two pictures of Cheyenne.

Remarkable family resemblance wouldn’t you say? If her game resembles his anywhere near as much she is going to be force to be reckoned with on the LPGA. Her uncle didn’t make the cut in his first PGA event. Hopefully the rain lets up tomorrow so they can play the second round and we’ll see if Cheyenne can do better her first time out.

***

Remember Elizabeth Wang? Who I wrote about here? She is 9 now. A couple of weekends ago she played in the Colorado Junior Golf Associations annual tournament. She played up a division, with the 11-13 year olds. She won by 9 strokes. Remember her name. In 8 years or so, when she is the phenom on the cover of all the golf magazines, you can impress them at the water cooler by saying ‘Oh yeah, I’ve been following her for years’.

Finally, the clouds parted

Well that was really…..wet, wasn’t it? The first three rounds were a little..confusing actually. Trying to keep track of which round it was. And was the coverage you were watching live, or what was played before they called things off because of rain. Did you see them squeegeeing off the greens? And the huge splashes of water when players hit out of the rough? Those first three rounds were just barely watchable. But the last round today, that was great golf. Congratulations to Lucas Glover. He really earned this one.

Although I have to tell you, here at The Household we were really, REALLY, pulling for David Duval. He is a long time favorite around here and we have been hoping he would eventually get his game back. He almost managed to pull it off. I had to be careful not to cheer at work when he made the birdie on 15. Yes, yes, I admit, I was a less than stellar employee today until it was over. But I wasn’t so bad as to actually stream it. I followed Jason Sobel’s blog over on ESPN, and The Golfer was watching at home and sending me minute by minute updates via IM. Ain’t technology wonderful?

It would have been better to actually watch it, but at least this way I didn’t have to listen to Johnny Miller. Honestly NBC, you have GOT to get rid of him. I’m sure he’s a very nice guy. The other announcers seem to actually like him. But I want to put duct tape over his mouth and make him sit in the corner. He is just too snooty and snarky, and full of himself to be allowed any where near a microphone. Please, please, PLEASE, tear up his contract and change the locks on the announcer booth door.

So the 2009 US Open is officially in the (soggy) books. Next major: The Open, Turnberry Scotland, July 16-19.  

Something for a rainy day

Well the first round of The US Open was rained out.

But Heather over at Real Women Golf put together a little something for those of us who were really looking forward to the 1:25pm tee time. And may I just say Very Nicely Done. Very.

All Bethpage Black, all the time

So I hope you all made a successful transition off of analog TV this past week. This would not be a good week to be trying to figure out how to get a TV signal back into your home. Because this is US Open week. You remember the US Open? The tournament where last year Rocco came thiiiiissss close to beating Tiger?  The last tournament Tiger played before his knee surgery? When we all thought he just had shin splints and turns out it was his ACL?  Remember that? I thought you did. Well it’s that time of year again. The second major of the year. And since it’s an Open any one can qualify and play. So there will be the usual crowd of top players, a few who-the-heck-is-that’s, and a large field of amateurs. Of note here to The Household, John Daly did not qualify, which takes the fun, and colorful clothing, meter down a notch. But David Duval did. He is a past favorite of The Household, and a local guy, so it’s nice to see him back in the game. And of course Rocco and Tiger will both be back.

This year The Open will be played at Bethpage Black. Bethpage is a set of 5 public courses in Bethpage State Park in New York. The courses each have a color name. Bethpage Black is the most difficult and challenging, and has been the host of many tournaments over the years, including the 2002 US Open, which Tiger won. Here is a nice description of the course, along with some of it’s history by Ron Whitten. It is a given in most golf circles that Bethpage Black was the final great achievement of A. W. Tillinghast, a famous golf course designer who was also responsible for the masterpieces that are Winged Foot, Baltusrol, Ridgewood and Quaker Ridge. Back in 2002 Mr. Whitten wrote this piece which questions that conventional wisdom. If you enter into any conversation with a Golfer this week, no matter how far removed from golf it may start out, they will eventually bring it around to the US Open. If you read that article you should be able to hold your own, and maybe even tell them something they don’t know.

In any case, for this next week, in the golf world, it will be nothing but Bethpage Black. The only downside to this is we must one again put up with the know-it-all snarkiness of Mr. Johnny Miller. Ah well, into each life a little rain must fall ( which I am just using metaphorically oh Golfing Gods. I am not in any way shape or form suggesting there needs to be real rain this week at Bethpage Black. Are we clear on that? Good. )

On a personal note, here at The Household we will of course be tivo-ing all the available TV coverage. And we ( at least the female portion of the ‘we’ that makes up The Household ) will be paying close attention to the group with the 1:25pm tee time on Thursday and the 7:55 tee time on Friday. The Golfing Gods ( bless their white dimpled little hearts ) have decreed that Cutie Pie, Cammmmmmilo Villegas, and Adam Scott will be playing together. And golf viewing just doesn’t get any better than that.

With just a few changes......

  "  Tucker Case did not play golf. He'd tried it once, and although he'd enjoyed the drinking and the driving the little electric car into the lake, he just didn't get the appeal. It seemed--and he'd examined the game closely because his father had loved it--an awful lot like a bunch of rich guys in goofy clothing walking around on an absurdly large lawn hitting absurdly small white balls with crooked sticks. If the greens were at opposite ends of the same fairway and foursomes had to play against each other, defending their own green while assaulting the opponents' and risking getting hit with a ball or a club at close quarters, well, then you'd have a game. If the game was scored on how quickly one got through the eighteen holes instead of the fewest strokes and they dropped small-block Chevys into the little carts, why then you'd have yourself a game. ( Maybe put those little Ben-Hur food processors on the wheels and make it legal to hamstring competitors.) But traditional golf, as it was, had always left Tuck cold.  "

   ( from Island of the Sequined Love Nun,  by Christopher Moore )

Not Earl Woods

Somewhat apropos to the previous 2 posts….

Being married to The Golfer, and having children, means I have sat through many golf lessons and practice sessions. I usually read a book. Or do crosswords. But even when trying to figure out 5 down, I do notice whats going on. And I would like to say something to a certain set of parents out there.

You are paying a very good instructor to teach your child golf. You should not be standing behind them commenting to your child after every swing.  Your child should be looking at and listening to the instructor after each swing. Not at you. They should not have an anxious look on their face until they see what your reaction to the shot was. And you don’t need to talk in a loud voice to make sure all the rest of us can hear how sage your advice to your child is. The instructor has taught a lot of kids, and they should be the ones to make club recommendations. You should not tell the instructor, in front of your child, about the new wedge you bought your child in spite of the fact that the instructor said your child didn’t really need it, because you are sure that your child plays well enough to need it, because after all, they came in 2nd in their last tournament. And yes, we all heard that. Once again, you don’t need the loud voice. We can all hear you when you tell the instructor that your child needs to leave now to go do the extra homework they have because they will not be in school this Thursday and Friday because they will be playing in an out of state tournament. We can all also see the look on your child’s face. And quite frankly we would all really like to say a few choice words to you, and take your child out for some ice cream. The kid really looks like they need it.

Let me tell you something. I’ll write it very slow. Read it very carefully. 

You. Are. Not. Earl. Woods.

In fact Earl would probably have had a few choice words for you himself.

And I know your child’s name. And it is not Tiger. Or Eldrick for that matter.

You are not creating a Tiger clone. Far from it. You are creating a child for whom the great game of golf represents nothing but anxiety and parental judgment. And as soon as they gain a modicum of independence they will throw those clubs away and never go near the game again.

Please. Put the clubs in the back of the garage somewhere. Pull your kid out of the out of town tournament and let them go to school. And then take them out for some ice cream.

And Also

Moving from high school up to college ‘next generation’ wise…..

The Palmer Cup was played here in The Wild West this week. This is what it’s web site has to say about The Palmer Cup…

In 1997 Arnold Palmer was approached by the Golf Coaches Association of America regarding lending his name to an international collegiate event between the United States and Great Britain and Ireland.  The event would use a Ryder Cup-style format and bring together the top eight collegiate players in the United States against their counterparts from GB&I.  Palmer, a former collegiate player himself, has been called America’s greatest Ambassador for the game of golf.   With his blessing and the support of the Arnold Palmer Golf Company, the inaugural event was played at his own Bay Hill Club in Florida in June 1997.

“I had long thought that an international competition such as this would enrich the lives of young men through the universal bond of the great game of golf.  This year is particularly significant since it comes on the centennial anniversary of the founding of golf on the college level,” said Mr. Palmer.

Great venues have highlighted the competition since its inception in 1997.  After Bay Hill, the Palmer Cup was next contested in Scotland in 1998 on the Old and New Courses at St. Andrews.   In subsequent years the matches have been played at such historic venues as The Honors Course, Royal Liverpool, Baltusrol, Doonbeg, Cassique, Ballybunion, Whistling Straits-The Irish, Prestwick, Caves Valley, Glasgow Golf Club Gailes Links and most recently Cherry Hills in 2009.

Upon conclusion of the 2002 event at Doonbeg in Ireland, a decision was made to alter the team composition by including European players with those from Great Britain and Ireland.  The affects of this decision has significantly changed the Palmer Cup in its international appeal and competitiveness of the matches.    Currently the Team USA leads Team Europe 6-5-1 with the European team having won three of the last five years.

During the short twelve year history of this event, the list of outstanding collegians that have participated include such names as:  Luke Donald, Rory Sabbatini, Charles Howell, III, Jonathan Byrd, Ben Curtis, Lucas Glover, Bryce Molder, Graeme McDowell, Bill Haas, Hunter Mahan, Ryan Moore, D.J. Trahan, Alejandro Canazares, Gonzalo Castano, J.B. Holmes, 2006 USGA Amateur Champion Richard Ramsey, Open de Portugal winner Pablo Martin, Dustin Johnson, and Luke List.

  
The Palmer Cup was played at Cherry Hills Country Club, which is where Arnold won his only U.S. Open in 1960.

In addition to The Palmer Cup being held here, there was a local kid on the American team. Here is an article about it in the local rag, The Denver Post.  And here is a article on the final round.

The European Team won.

But keep your eyes on all these kids.

Team USA Roster

Bud Cauley                Alabama                 Freshman     Jacksonville, FL
Morgan Hoffmann     Oklahoma State    Freshman      Saddle Brook, NJ
Trent Leon                Oklahoma State    Senior           Dallas, TX
Erik Flores                UCLA                    Senior           Grass Valley, CA
Adam Mitchell           Georgia                 Senior           Chattanooga, TN
Cameron Tringale      Georgia Tech         Senior           Laguna Niguel, CA
Mike Van Sickle         Marquette            Senior           Wexford, PA
Steve Ziegler            Stanford              Sophomore     Broomfield, CO

Team Europe Roster
 
Jorge Campillo        Indiana                      Senior              Caceres, Spain
Stephan Gross        Arizona State            Sophomore       Leimen, Germany
Leonardo Motta      IULM-Milan                                        Roasio, Italy
Henrik Norlander    Augusta State            Sophomore       Danderyd, Sweden
Chris Paisley           Tennessee                   Senior              Newcastle, England
Andrea Pavan          Texas A&M                 Junior              Rome, Italy
Tim Sluiter             Southern California    Sophomore       Hattem, The Netherlands
Robin Wingardh      Tennessee                   Sophomore      Morarp, Sweden
   

Next Generation

Allow me to introduce you to Zach Olsen. Zach just recently turned 15. On Wednesday Zach shot a 66 during a qualifying round for the Southern Amateur at Colonial Country Club in Cordova Tennessee. From the back tees. Is 66 a good round?  Well. The St. Jude Classic, which has been a regular stop on the PGA Tour for over 50 years, was played at Colonial Country Club until 1989, when it moved to it's present location of TPC at Southwinds. In the last year it was played at Colonial Jodie Mudd won with rounds of 68, 68, 67 and 70. The year before that Curtis Strange won with rounds of 70, 68, 68 and 69. So yes, 66 is a good round. 66 is a good round for a professional golfer. 66 is a great score for a just-turned-15 year old.

Last year, as an eighth grader, Zach won the Tennessee State High School tournament.

Believe it or not ( and if you have spent any time in the golf world you will have no trouble believing it ) kids as young as Zach are already ranked nationally. See here. If you look on that page you will see you can select based on graduation year. If you pick 2013, you will see Zach at #10. With an asterisk noting he hasn’t played enough tournaments at the high school level to be ranked. Zach will be playing quite a few tournaments this summer, and everyone expects him to move quickly up the list.

Zach is one of many very good young golfers. Most of whom you never hear about at this stage of their lives. We here at The Household know about Zach because The Golfer’s Brother is a member of Colonial. And of course the membership keeps a close eye on Zach.

So here’s the thing. There is a kid who will graduate from high school in 2013 who at the age of 15 can score 66 on Colonial playing from the same tees the pros use. And if you look at that web page you will see a whole lot more kids just as good, or better. Boys and girls. You should keep an eye on these rankings. Remember the names. Google them and follow their progress through local/state/national tournaments. The names you see in those rankings are the names you will be seeing on the tops of leader boards in the years to come.

If Tiger plans to win more tournaments then Jack ( and he does of course ) he might want to get a move on. Because those kids he hears walking up the fairway behind him are GOOD.

Sir Charles and Mr. Haney - part II

As mentioned before we have been watching The Haney Project. We finally sat down and watched the final episode last night. It was just as entertaining as the rest of the shows. We have been seeing a lot of Sir Charles here in The Household the past couple of weeks. Since he is part of the basketball team coverage on TNT. And it has been interesting to see Sir Charles in the basketball world as opposed to Sir Charles the frustrated golfer. Totally in charge, total expert on TNT. Hitting 100’s of balls on the driving range with Mr. Haney holding his head still on The Haney Project. Takes a special kind of person to let the world ( ok, maybe just the overly-involved-with-golf world ) watch you try to improve your singularly awful swing. Charles has a lot of interesting and funny friends, and he obviously enjoys life. But he was still really struggling, and not happy with, his golf. Nothing like putting one of the not-going-well parts of your life on TV and having everyone watch you try to deal with it. That said, he never gave up, never slacked off, and maintained his general good humor throughout.

As for his golf swing, the end result was good, but not great. Charles’ swing definitely improved, but it isn’t ‘fixed’.  Which was to be expected actually. You can’t fix something that wrong that fast. But it has improved enough that Charles is having fun playing golf again. And he will keep working on it.

Mr. Haney said that Charles had not made the progress he had hoped for, but had made the progress he had expected. And then he said that perhaps there was more of a mental element to Charles bad swing than he had thought. With all due respect, and I mean that sincerely – Mr. Haney came across as a thoroughly nice and decent guy, and he is obviously a great coach/teacher - so with all due respect to Mr. Haney,  Well Duh.

There are a lot of things were you will hear people say ‘It’s 90% mental’. That is never more true than with golf. You can be the most coordinated, natural athlete on the planet, and still suck at golf. Or you can be John Daly and, at least occasionally, excel. The trick is not hitting the little white ball. The trick is hitting it where you want it to go. And being able to do it over and over, with each shot needing to be different than the last, based on where your ball landed. You can just use your body and swing the club and hit the ball. That’s really not too hard. Little kids can do that. But to get the ball to go where you want takes brain power. When a golfer stands over the ball they are mentally adjusting every part of their body to try and get muscles to react just so, to get the club to follow a certain arc, so the ball will follow a specific flight path. Even I hit a great shot every now and then. What I freely admit I lack is the mental part of the game that would allow me to hit great shots over and over. The ability to stand over the ball and know exactly what muscles have to do what to get the ball where I want it, and the mental ability to make them do it. And to ignore the geese, and The Offspring, and the people laughing on the next hole over, and the smell of The Golfers cigar, and the dog barking and….well, everything but how I need to swing the club to hit that little white ball. And that’s all mental. Has nothing to do with my actual physical ability to swing the club.

All you had to do was look at Charles swing to see that there was a rather large mental block going on. Obviously the physical part of the swing needed help too. And when your swing is that bad, part of what you do when you work on the physical swing is convince the mind that yes, if you concentrate, you really can hit the ball well. But that ‘hitch’, as Mr. Haney called it, is pure mental. Towards the end there Charles was swinging quite well on the driving range. No hitch at all. But when he played a round on a golf course, with his friends there, and the cameras, that hitch showed up again. Not nearly as bad. All that practice convinced his mind that a nice smooth swing was certainly possible. It just got a little distracted with the other stuff going on, and forgot to pull on this muscle here just so, and let go of that one on the down swing, and wait a minute was I supposed to tighten this one or relax it? Darn, better stop here for just a sec and regroup….and there was the hitch again.

Unfortunately for golfers of all levels everywhere, the mental part of the game is much harder to fix than the physical part. And it’s impossible to fix if you are frustrated to the point of quitting the way Charles was. So props to Mr. Haney for getting Charles swing back to the point where he is enjoying the game once again, and is willing to continue to work on things. I’m sure his mind will catch up to his muscles sooner rather than later and he’ll have control of his swing even on a golf course full of spectators at a charity tournament.

As for me. Well. I find that a cocktail, or two, during a round may not help my mental concentration, but it certainly helps my mental state. And that probably goes a long way towards explaining the state of my golf game.

In The Pink

As has been noted on this blog several times, I pretty much always disagree with Ian Poulters sartorial choices. At least on the golf course. But I have to give the man credit when it’s due. And it is certainly due for his clothing choice on Saturday. The  Crowne Plaza Invitational was played this weekend in Ft. Worth Texas. Saturday was Pink Out day. The players and their caddies ( and indeed many of the volunteers and spectators ) wore pink, in support of Amy Mickelson.  Among the players there were pink shirts galore. And the occasional pink hat. But Ian Poulter obviously feels that if you are going to do something, you should go all the way. And I have to say that, in this case, I totally approve.

It looks even better in HDTV. The fabric of both the pants and the shirt was some kind of rayon or polyester that had a flow to it. And a sheen. It was really quite impressive when he hit his tee shots. Well done Mr. Poulter. Well done.

The only person who managed to out-pink Mr. Poulter was the always charming, and almost always sartorially correct, Mr. Feherty. He managed to top even Mr. Poutler, with pink shoes, pink, hat, pink sunglasses…

and this:

I hope Amy Mickelson was able to watch at least a little bit of the tournament on Saturday. If not I hope someone e-mails her pictures. It was an incredible show of support and you can’t tell me a pink striped goatee wouldn’t raise her spirits at least a little.

PS. Yes, we are watching golf again. SIGH. But it was a great run. And just wait’ll next year.

Matchmaker

Dear Cutie Pie,

I have noticed that your spirit, your enthusiasm, your joie de vivre, as it were, has been a bit absent lately. I was sorry to hear about your recent heartbreak. I am glad to read that you seem to be on your way to recovery. I find that sometimes it’s good to get right back on the old horse. Don’t you agree? Fill that empty space with something new. To search out new romantic opportunities. Like mountain cabins. Sitting on the porch, drinking a glass of wine, and watching the sun set behind the mountains. That is romantic, don’t you think? I happen to know of some cabins in excellent sunset viewing locations. I would be happy to arrange for you to stay in one. And once you have the place, I’m sure you will be able to find someone to share the sunset with. 

Why I was just saying to my daughter the other day…by the way, did I mention I have a daughter? I do. Two of them in fact. But I was talking to the older one. She is a wonderful girl. Great sense of humor. Very pretty too. She has the biggest blue eyes you’ve ever seen. Auburn hair. Very thin and fit. And did I mention she was the captain of her high school golf team? She was. She is 21. Currently working and going to college. She will graduate in December. Then it is on to grad school. Very smart girl. 

So anyway, I was just saying to her ‘You never when you will find yourself in a romantic spot and fate will step in and there, where you might least expect it, will be someone to share it with.‘

If you are interested, in the cabin and the sunsets and fate stepping in, you just let me know.

Sincerely,

The Golfer’s Wife

Distracted

As has been mentioned before, here at The Household we like sports. Golf tops the list of course, but we like pretty much everything. And while we have been playing golf, I admit we haven't been watching much golf. We, and everyone else here in The Wild West, have been a little distracted lately.

By way of explanation let me just say:

             LET'S GO NUG-GETS!!

                         

Golf watching to resume, well, actually hopefully not for awhile.

Thoughts and Prayers

Our thoughts and prayers are with The Mickelsons. We wish this true Golfers Wife a speedy and complete recovery.

Org Chart

( another in the long a** series of posts )

Besides managing to look good in white on the golf course, and winning TPC last weekend, here is another interesting fact about Henrik Stenson.  He is not a PGA Tour Member.

And does this matter?

Obviously not much to Mr. Stenson or he would be a PGA Tour Member.

At this point I think it would be helpful to go over the Golf Organizations organization chart. I would imagine there are a lot of you reading this who just rolled your eyes and thought ‘Oh please. Not another organization chart’. I understand. Really truly I do. I too am a member of corporate America. Where a new organization chart shows up weekly, and merely involves the re-arranging of some Chiefs, and all us Indians end up doing the same thing, with perhaps a different dotted line here or there.

But with all the money and TV time involved I really think it helps to understand how all the Golf organizations relate to each other.

In the beginning there was The Royal and Ancient. As noted in the previous post the Royal and Ancient established the first 13 official rules of the game. The Royal and Ancient basically ruled over golf, until it came to America. In 1894 ( more or less, some history here not worth going into ) the United States Golf Association (USGA) was formed as the ruling body over golf in America. In 2004 the Royal And Ancient broke into The Royal And Ancient, and The R&A, with The R&A taking over the governance ( ruling ) authority of The Royal and Ancient. So at the moment there are 2 ruling bodies in golf. The USGA over the U.S. and Mexico, and The R&A over most of the rest of the world. Needless to say they tend to consult and collaborate quite a bit. The thing to note about these two groups is that, while you can belong to either ( and most Golfers to one or the other ) they are really governing bodies, not player associations. The USGA stages the U.S. Open each year, which is the 2nd of the 4 majors played ( the first being The Masters ). The R&A administers The Open ( The British Open to non-Golfers ) which is the 3rd major played each year.

Next up is the Professional Golfers Association ( PGA ) which was founded in 1916. PGA members are golf professionals, as opposed to professional golfers. These are the golf pros, assistant pros, and golf instructors at your local golf course. There are various criteria for belonging to the PGA. These involve things like hours spent teaching and time running a pro-shop. Nothing about tournaments or money won. These are the people who make a living at the business of golf. The PGA hosts the PGA Championship, which is the 4th major played each year.

There are actually many PGA’s around the world. The most notable for our purposes being the British PGA.

So to reacap: R&A-ruling body outside of US and Mexico. Administers The Open. USGA-ruling body in US and Mexico. Administers U.S Open. PGA-association of golf professionals in the U.S. Administers the PGA Championship.

And now we move on to The Tours. The PGA Tour is a separate entity from the PGA. A little more history we won’t get into here, but basically in 1968 profession golfers broke away from the PGA and formed their own association. So golf professionals belong to the PGA. Professional golfers belong to the PGA Tour. Got it? The PGA Tour organizes the majority of the week to week tournaments that make up the golf season. It does NOT have anything to do with the 4 majors, or the 4 World Golf Championship ( which we will get to ) tournaments. The PGA Tour is responsible for TPC ( which they would like to be a major, but no one else will go along. Which was discussed in a previous TPC post ), and The FedEx Cup ( the ongoing saga of which has also been discussed in previous posts ).

The PGA Tour is the organization to which Mr. Stenson does NOT belong. He does belong to The PGA European Tour. Which has a history similar to that of the PGA Tour. In the 1970’s the British professional golfers broke from the British PGA and formed their own tour organization, which became the independent PGA European Tour in 1984. The European Tour has similar tournament responsibilities to the PGA Tour. However their responsibilities are world wide. The Dubai and Thailand tournaments that Tiger plays in every year? Part of the European tour. There is also a Japan Golf Tour, the PGA Tour of Australasia, and the Southern Africa Tour.

You can only belong to one Tour. So you can belong to either the PGA Tour or the European Tour. You can’t belong to both. Being a Swede, Mr. Stenson began his career as a member of the European Tour, and has elected to stay a member of that tour.

And why do you even need to belong to a Tour in the first place? Basically you can’t play in any Tour administered event unless you are a member of that Tour. And most tournaments, here or in Europe/The rest of the World, are administered by one of the two big Tours – the PGA and the European. The glaring exceptions to that of course being all 4 majors. None of those are administered by a Tour. Assuming you qualify for any of the majors, you can play in them without being a member of any Tour. 

How did Mr. Stenson end up playing in TPC, which is the flagship event of the PGA Tour?  He met other qualifying requirements. In particular, when you have a big tournament you want the big players. So TPC invites the top 50 players in the world, and Mr. Stenson happens to be part of that group.

There is a way you can play in a Tour administered event without being a member of the Tour, and that is through a sponsors exemption. Each player can use up to 6 sponsors exemptions to play in tournaments on the PGA Tour. There is a little catch to that. You have to receive permission from your Tour to play in a non-Tour event during a week when there is a Tour event. Which is basically every week except for the weeks of the 4 majors. Considering that America is where the money is, players on the European Tour generally don’t have a problem getting permission to play in PGA Tour events. However PGA Tour players had a heck of a time getting permission to play in non-PGA Tour events. The PGA, somewhat understandably, wanted to keep it’s players in America to boost it’s TV ratings. Then along came Tiger. Who wanted to play in Dubai, and Thailand, and a few other places on the European Tour. And of course Tiger got what Tiger wanted, and in the process made it much easier for everyone else to get permission to play in non-PGA Tour events.

As an aside here, as was noted in a previous post, John Daly has been playing quite a lot on the European Tour. John can do this because he was suspended from the PGA Tour for 50 days. Which means for 50 days he is not bound by their rules, and can play in as many tournaments as he wants ( or qualifies for ) without getting permission.

Now, about the World Golf Championship. This was started in 1999 by the International Federation of PGA Tours. It was initially an attempt to create a sort of World Tour. Which, at least so far, hasn’t materialized. The WGC currently consists of 4 tournaments ( the 4th having been added just this year. ). Any player on any of the Tours that are part of the Federation can play in any of the 4 WGC events.

So to get back to Mr. Stenson. And, incidentally, Sergio Garcia, who is also a member of the European Tour. He can play in all 4 majors, all 4 WGC events, and up to 6 PGA events on sponsors exemptions. And as long as he keeps playing well and stays in the top 50 players world wide, he can play in TPC. That’s 15 tournaments. He can also play in any European Tour event of course. Which makes for a pretty full season of golf. All of which he accomplishes quite nicely without being a member of the PGA Tour.

Why would he maybe want to switch allegiances and join the PGA Tour? Money and fame. There is more money on the PGA, and the PGA is the prestige Tour. There is also the whole FedEx thing. You only get FedEx points if you are a member of the PGA Tour. But realistically speaking, Mr. Stenson and Sergio, have managed to get quite a lot of money and fame without being PGA Tour members. And they can play close to home in European Tour events without having to get permission. And as for the FedEx points, well, the jury is still out on relevance of the whole FedEx thing anyway.

‘Okay’ ( I can hear you say) ‘TGW, but what about the LPGA, the Nationwide Tour, the Futures Tour and, above all of course, the Hooters Tour? Huh? What about those?’

To which I reply, ‘Later. This post is already long a** enough.’

Quick Notes

Working on another in the long a** series of posts. In the meantime 3 quick notes.

Irish amateur Shane Lowry won the Irish Open this weekend. This was quite an accomplishment. First of all he is an amateur. Amateurs don’t win Opens. Second, it was the first European Tour event he had played in. An amateur wins his first time playing on the big stage. And he did it on the third hole of a play off. Talk about your pressure situations. General opinion is he will turn pro this week, in time to play in this weekends BMW PGA Championship, which is the European Tours flagship event. Nothing like jumping right into the big time. Keep an eye on that kid.

Michelle Wie tied for third in this weekends Sybase Classic. That makes 3 top ten finishes so far this year. Her father was fairly obvious there in the background. But still. Perhaps, it’s certainly too soon to tell yet, but perhaps she will become a force to be reckoned with on the LPGA. However, in a recent interview she did comment that she still wanted to compete with the men. So it would appear that she still hasn’t quite wrapped her mind completely around that fact that she needs to beat the women first. Still waiting to be wrong.

Please check out The Khaki Crusader, who I have added to the blog roll over on the right there. Wonderful site on men’s golf fashion. I’m not sure yet how he feels about white, but his site is interesting enough that, even if he approves, I won’t hold it against him. Perhaps in the future he will consider branching out and covering women’s golf fashion as well. 

The begining

On this day in 1754 the Society of St. Andrews Golfers was founded. Twenty-two men adopted 13 official rules for the game. Almost 100 years later, in 1834, King William IV deemed the St. Andrews Golfers "Royal and Ancient", a title that remains today.

Wow.

So it pretty much goes without saying that we watched TPC this weekend. And let me just take this moment to say Very Well Done to the one man who has managed to look good wearing white on a golf course. But back to the watching. This year we at The Household saw TPC as we have never seen it before.

Something happened at The Household this year that has never happened before and, I think I can safely say given current events, will never happen again. Through a series of mis-calculations and being prepared for events that, as it turned out, didn’t happen, The Household had a sizeable tax refund this year. As I said, once in a lifetime kind of thing.

Anyway. When it became clear that all information had, in fact, been entered correctly and that TurboTax was, in fact, correct on the refund amount, thoughts immediately turned to what to do with the money.

We could have socked it away in any one of several different savings accounts, but, in a moment of patriotic fervor, we decided the best thing to do with it was stimulate the old economy. In short, spend it.

It was decided that a major home entertainment upgrade was needed. And we just happen to have a friend whose business is making said major home entertainment upgrades. Granted he makes these upgrades in homes that could hold at least 4 of ours, and with budgets many times larger than our refund. But still. The expertise was at hand. And so equipment was purchased and holes were cut in walls and wires were run, and the existing wireless network was utilized, and viola. 

Several wonderful things were installed, but the one that matters most for golf is HDTV. Installation was completed on Wednesday. And we watched TV and yes the picture was noticeably better. But it wasn’t until we started watching the Tivo’d first round of TPC on Thursday evening that the true wonders of HDTV hit home. Wow. Just…Wow. You could see every divot, every little hill, every swale, every sprinkler head, every blade of grass, every grain of sand. You could see every cut of rough, where things were wet, and where they were dry. And the greens! You know how the commentators will show the green and then draw lines and arrows showing the slope and ridges? And on regular TV you need that. Because the green looks like one flat expanse of grass. But on HD….you can see everything. Every ridge, every slope, every pock mark. You could even tell which way the ball was going to break. Amazing. It was just amazing. And you have no idea how much more interesting all that detail makes watching a tournament. We had everyone over to The Household for Mothers Day. And this is a crowd, all but one of whom, would never voluntarily watch golf. In fact there were a couple of them who didn’t even know what a Birdie is. But they watched TPC. Seriously. They did. When you can see what’s going on with that level of detail it gets interesting even for total non-golfers.

Watching the slow motion hit of a ball off the tee or out of the rough. And especially out of a sand trap. Just unbelievable. In fact the only downside to the whole thing was, that in addition to the course and the players, you also got Johnny Miller in HD.

We are generally pretty up to date, in fact usually ahead of the curve, when it comes to computers and techno gadgets. But we are a little late to the whole flat screen HD party. So you all probably already have it and are saying ‘Well Duh.’ But if not, and if you watch any amount of golf, and especially if you have people around who you are trying to get interested in golf, then GET HDTV. And you don’t have to make a major home entertainment upgrade to get it. Look for sales. Go to Costco. But get it. 

Actually......

I know I am late to the party on this, but I have been out of town, and to a large degree offline, for the past week. But late as I am I just can’t let it go by without saying something.

John Daly is currently playing on the European Tour. This is what he wore in the Pro-Am for the Spanish Open.

Now I know what you are expecting me to say. White belt. White shoes. And….well, other things. But. Actually…… I like it. Really. Now before you go thinking I lost my mind while I was gone, let me make something VERY clear. I like THIS particular combination, on Big John. And ONLY Big John. I am NOT suggesting that I would tolerate, let alone approve, of this on ANYONE ELSE. But for some reason, I think Big John pulls it off.

And just because, for some reason I can’t explain, I happen to like this particular combination, does not mean I approve of everything Big John has been wearing on the European Tour.

This for instance.

Or this.

Did he re-use one of his grandmothers quilts?

And these should just be illegal.

On the extreme off chance that you are thinking to yourself ‘Hmmm. Maybe John can’t pull it off, but I would look great in those’, let me just note that, unfortunately, they are not illegal. You can actually purchase these, and other affronts to the senses, here. If you do, and you actually wear them in public, just be aware that the reason the ladies are staring at you has nothing to do with your blue eyes or your manly square cut jaw.

How to Make Money Playing Golf

Not Tiger Woods type money. Really not even Boo Weekly type money. But enough money so that you can treat the 4-some at the 19th hole, if you are so inclined. At least enough money so that you leave the course with more in your pocket than when you started.

And how does one do this? By betting of course. Betting on golf is as old as the game itself. On any given Saturday if you drive by a golf course, you can be sure that there is money changing hands in 90% of the 4-somes you see playing. The first thing players do on the first tee is identify the ball they are playing and their mark. The second thing they do is place their bets. 

Knowing the standard golf betting games is almost as important as knowing golf etiquette. Even if you decide not to participate, you need to understand what’s going on if you plan to play on a regular basis. When someone asks if you want to play Nassau you better not have a blank look on your face.

I have added two new pages to the side bar over on the left there. Under Extras. Tournament Formats and Betting Games. See them?  Read them. Because before you enter into any kind of betting game there are some things you need to know. And this is not just ‘nice to know information if I get around to reading it’. We are talking money here. Whether you leave the course with enough money to cover your green fees, or leave it with an empty wallet, may depend on how much you remember from those two pages. 

Before you enter into any game with any group of players there are 4 things you need to make sure you get very clear.

First, you need to know the format. Sometimes the game itself dictates the format. But not always. You need to know if it is stroke play or match play. You also need to understand a Scramble and Best Ball.

Second, you need to know the rules of the game. And that means the LOCAL rules of the game. What is on the Betting Games page are the standard rules. Which are almost never adhered to. Each course, each club, each 4-some, has it’s own version of each game. So when one member of the 4-some says ‘We usually play Wolf, is that okay?’ the first words out of your mouth need to be ‘Are there any local rules I need to know?’ Because there will be. And if you don’t ask they will have you pegged as a sucker from the start.

Third, make very sure you are clear on whether the out come will be determined based on points or money. And make sure you are clear on the dollar amount, or the price per point. If you think you are playing for points, and each point is worth a nickel, and it turns out you are playing for money and each stroke is worth a dollar, you risk having a coronary when it comes time to settle up.

Fourth, understand what a ‘press’ is. A press is possible in every game on every hole. And it doesn’t even have to be a press in the same game. It could be a totally separate kind of bet. Be prepared for them and know how to factor them into your ‘how much can I afford to lose’ calculations. When a press is made make very sure you are clear on it’s duration. 

Also understand that several games can be going on at once. It is hardly unheard of to have a game of Wolf and Snake going on at the same time.

All that said, I don’t want to scare you away from betting games. They are a lot of fun and they can add a lot of fun to your round. Once you get the hang of things they become kind of second nature. When you are going through your checklist before starting a round it will be ‘marked balls, glove, tees, sun screen, water bottle, betting cash’.  

As for how much cash is enough….The Golfer is a member of a club ( as has been documented here several times ) and has a couple of regular 4-somes. Generally speaking somewhere between $20-$50 dollars changes hands each round. Depending on where you play and if you regularly play with the same people you should probably plan on carrying between $10-$40 dollars in small bills and change.

Nassau( or the local variant thereof ) is by far the most popular game out there, but different areas of the country, and different clubs, have their favorites. For instance, out here in The Wild West the most popular game is actually Wolf( or one of the many local variants thereof ). If you plan on ‘making it interesting’ out here you better know how to play Wolf. So before setting out to make enough to cover the cost of gas to the course you might ask around about the most popular game in your area/club and bone up on the general rules. But remember to always, ALWAYS, make sure to get the local rules.

As an example, first go to the Betting Games page and read the rules for Wolf. Finished?  Okay, now, here for your edification, are the rules for Wolf as played by The Golfer and his cohorts, explained by The Golfer:

Wolf (or Pig / Wolf) is a good betting game that mixes things up.  You assign the order 1-4, and each hole the person that hit second hits first, and the person who hit first moves to last.  The person that hits first is the captain, and as each person hits, will determine if he wants that person as his partner.  Your window for choosing ends when the next person hits.  If you don’t pick anyone you are the PIG.  The person that you select can drop you (going LONE WOLF).  Our game is everyone must go alone once during the round.  When you go alone, there is an automatic double.  The people not picked can double as well.

There is a lot of strategy involved in picking.  Say you hit one out of bounds (and are now looking for love).  The person you pick will probably reject you, especially if he’s seen the other guys dump a ball in the water.  You generally like to be captain on the par 3’s (if you hit it on the green you will probably get your LONE out of the way).  The winning team gets a point on the hole (unless you’ve doubled, doubled back, etc…).  And you play for a certain amount per point like a $1 per point.  Oh, and a birdie doubles the bet (but only a naturally birdie)

So the rotation goes through 4 times.  Then at 17, the person with the lowest amount of points is automatically captain, and you rotate through the order from there.  The kicker (and half the people love this, and half hate it) is that the captain can reset the points.  The difference between low man and high man is the range the person can do (so if Billy has 8 points, and I have 17 points, Billy can make that hole worth 9 points).

Our 17  is a long hit over water.  So, Billy hits it in the water.  I’m up next and hit it over the green, but playable.  Billy will probably pick that ball right there. So, do I reject him, and hope the other 2 guys don’t play well? ‘Cause if I reject him, then it’s doubled automatically, and if one of them hits it good, I’m sure they will double again.

So, it’s kinda slow until the end…  But makes 17 and 18 a lot of fun, even if you’ve sucked.  And of course, you can get unlucky and be out a lot of money pretty quickly.

So there you have it. How to make money playing golf. Now go out and win a fortune. Or at least enough to cover your drinks at the 19th hole.

...and no plaid pants either.

Brian Gay won the Verizon Heritage this weekend. Brian is 37 years old. Since we are in the CBS period of golf coverage, Gary McCord was one of the announcers. Gary is a former PGA Tour player, who currently plays occasionally on the Champions tour, in addition to his position as a golf analyst for CBS. Gary is a hoot. Quite the character. Gary made the famous ‘bikini waxed greens’ remark that got him banned from Masters coverage. He is currently 60 years old.

This is what Brian wore during the first round on Thursday.

This is what Gary had to say about it:  ‘ Plaid pants, white belt, white shoes. That’s the exact outfit I wore back in 1977 ‘.

Once again we see the peril of wearing white on the golf course. And an example of the ill-advised re-appearance of another trend of the 1970’s - the awful plaid pants. Brian is wearing an outfit that Gary was playing in when Brian was 7. Guys, seriously. You have seen Gary McCord. Do you really want to be playing in an outfit that Gary wore in the 1970s? 

Or quite frankly that anyone wore in the 1970’s?  If ever there was a bad decade – bad fashion, bad music, bad hair – it was the 70’s. Believe me. I was there. I can’t for the life of me figure out why ANYONE, let alone professional golfers, would want to bring it back.

This is what Brian was wearing when he won.

Not a lot better really. Although I would venture a guess that Gary McCord probably never wore lime green pants.

Crabbiness descends

GO#2 did not have golf team practice on Thursday. The Golfer did not play his weekly Friday afternoon game, and the Saturday tournament is cancelled. And right now GO#2’s Monday tournament looks like a no go.

Jigger and Hershey, idiots that they are, made a daring escape earlier today( helped greatly by The Golfer, who left the garage door open ) and came home a couple hours later soaking wet. It turns out Brassie is quite a bit smarter than the two of them. She decided not to go with them, and was there to great me when I got home, nice and warm and dry.

And do you know why there is no golf? Do you know why the dogs were idiots to go out and came home dripping wet?

Because we have had days of grey-cloudy-rain-turning-to-wet-sloppy- spring-snow-weather. Right now it is coming down at a rate of an inch an hour. Not supposed to stop until noon tomorrow. 24 inches.

The other thing we have had days of is crabbiness. Serious crabbiness. No one is happy. Except Brassie, and she’s a puppy. They don’t know any better. And when you are crabby, having something around that is permanently happy just makes you more crabby. Tempers are short. Household members are spreading out, one to a room. This helps cut down on the sniping at each other. ‘Cuz quite frankly we’ve had enough of this weather enforced togetherness. Hershey sleeps and sighs a lot. Cold wet weather is hard on old hips. She is not happy. Jigger is snapping at Brassie, who was his new best friend until the rain started. And Nibby is swiping, claws out, at any thing, person or animal, who passes with in reach. MAJOR crabbiness people.

And I KNOW we live in the Wild West, and I KNOW April is our snowiest month, and I KNOW this happens every year. But if you mention any of that I will tell you to just shut up already and leave me to marinate in my crabbiness.

And do you know what else? We have a garage. Which has a spot for the still-almost-brand-new-car. So I do not have to scrape the snow off before I go to work in the morning. And do you know what is in that spot at the moment? Boxes containing new patio furniture. Which was delivered the day before the current crappy weather started. Which means the still-almost-brand-new-car can not be parked in the garage. Which means this morning I had to scrape snow off the still-almost-brand-new-car because it’s spot in the garage is taken up by patio furniture THAT I CAN’T EVEN USE BECAUSE OF THE STUPID WEATHER.

Major, serious,  crabbiness.

However the fridge is stocked with Guinness and Strong Bow. So at least there’s that.  

Duly Noted

The Golfer wants me to be sure and point out that, after Thursdays round, he predicted that Angel Cabrera would win The Masters. And he did. However, this doesn’t mean I think you should bet on his choice to win The Kentucky Derby.

So that was one heck of a final round wasn’t it? Tiger and Phil played a whole tournament all by themselves. And although The Golfer thought Angel would win, we were actually rooting for Kenny Perry. We golfers-of-a-certain-age need to stick together. But he just couldn’t pull it off in the end.

And so another Masters is in the books. Which means Spring is now officially here, the Golf pre-season is over and the real season has truly begun, and, most importantly, Mr. Feherty is back on the airwaves on a regular basis.

Just....no

You all know my feelings on golfers, of either gender, wearing white on the golf course. And, Ian Poulter not withstanding, I pretty much thought white was as bad as it could get. I was wrong.

This is Ryo Ishikawa showing up for his practice round at The Masters today.

This is a picture a bit more close up.

I know the kid is only 17. And I know he is from Japan, and the teen age dress code is probably different over there. But duuuude. NO. Seriously. NO.

Please. Someone ( who is not Ian Poulter ) take the kid shopping. Somewhere they don’t sell pants in femin…uh….pastel colors. Or checks. In any color.

And pleasepleasepleaseplease do NOT let this start a trend, okay guys? Seriously. **shudder**